Management Lessons from Jokes

I was reading those old forward jokes that once used to be on our emails and have now found their way to BBM and whatsapp and other instant messaging platforms. Generally that's the way for me to unwind myself before heading to sleep. But today two of the forwards actually ignited my thoughts about the embedded Management Lessons in them. Incidentally both of them are related to Microsoft.

The first joke is about the incident where Microsoft CFO was conducting an interview for a junior position and as he was impressed with this guy who was a fresh graduate, he asked him "do you have an email where we can contact you?" The guy was puzzled and looked back asking "what is that? I do have a mailing address but don't know nothing about email address!!" Microsoft CFO looked at him and said "well then you don't exist for us. Sorry, but contact us the day you have an email address." The young guy leaves and moves out thinking what to do to earn the livelihood. He looks at his pocket and finds $50. He sits in a park and identifies that if he spent those $50 on food he wood be out of money in 4 days. Just at that time he sees a vendor selling Popsicle. He evaluates the idea and decides to use $10 for his food and rest $40 to buy some meat & vegetables that he can sell from door to door. As he does that, he makes a profit of $15. So the next day he starts with $55 and again with the same split and sales he makes a profit of $20. Soon he buys a bike and that way he could carry more vegetables and cover More distance. The efforts were yielding results for him and he ended up owning a chain of stores with door to door selling and free home delivery concepts. With success he decided to have an IPO and his company got listed on NYSE. He became one of the "Most talked about CEOs who were self made entrepreneurs too." He then bumps into the same old Microsoft CFO who was impressed with this guys down to earth attitude and asked him if he had an email ID?  The guy simply replies "If I would have had an email address, I would have been working for Microsoft!!!"

The management lesson as hidden in this story is about being able to utilize absence of something as an opportunity to excel without it. There is no scope for ruing the lost chances. Its about doing what you do with determination along side the will to succeed. Lack of not having something is not actually a handicap rather is a big opportunity for you to work on your strength areas!!!

The second joke is about an incident where Microsoft organized a Walk-in from all over the world to select the best candidate to nurture as future CEO.  So there were thousands of candidates who flocked in.  At the venue, the Microsoft HR head walks in and says "Those who do not have Engineering and Management Background may please leave" and almost 60% of the candidates left. Then walked in the CFO and said "Those who do not understand Expense Statement, Balance Sheet and P&L may please leave." Another 50% left.  There was this candidate who was thinking all the time, "Though I don't know anything, what the hell, I would see what happens next".  At the end of all the elimination rounds, Microsoft CEO walks in and says, "Those who don't understand and can't converse in Swahili may please leave" and there was this guy and another guy left.  They were then told to speak to each other in Swahili and the first one asks the second one - "Kit kas sein" and the Second one replies "Faridabad".

In this case the lesson that we get is never leave the competition just because you think you don't qualify.  It is not you who should be quitting.  You must ensure that you stay in the competition and you might be the winner.  Just walking out midway is not the right thing, walking till the end is!!!

Where are those Glorious Days of Indian Army

Normally I write my own articles and seldom do I post something that is shared. But the two incidents on the Indian Army motivated me to move them from my email fwds to my blog.  I am not the author of those two incidents nor do I own the narration.  However, as a mark of respect to Indian Army and to support bringing their glory back to what they were and the respect they commanded, I am posting these two incidents as below. No Edits and they are being posted as they were written by the original author...read on...

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Some Instances of Kairon's time and Army actions then
( As sent  by a very Sr. navy veteran)
Incident 1:
A major's wife and her sister went to see a movie. As the movie started, two goons came and sat next to them and started misbehaving. They left in disgust and told the major about it. He met the stn cdr. It was decided that they'll go and watch the same movie the next day. About five or ten minutes after the movie started, the movie was stopped and the lights came on. The major, accompanied by jawans, came in and picked up the two goons. One of them was the cinema owner and the son of CM -- Partap Singh Kairon. He was a very well known goonda. Outside the hall, these two were bashed up, put in the military ambulance and taken to MH. Panic calls were made to the CM. He rushed from Chandigarh to Amritsar. He, fully escorted by police and press etc, went to see his son in the MH. At the entrance to the cantonment, the caravan was stopped by the sentries. They were told that the CM wanted to go to the MH to see his son. They replied that they had orders that 'this person' was not to enter the cantonment. The CM had to eat a humble pie and make a statement to the press that what his son did was very wrong and he fully deserved what he received. When this news came out, everyone in the Punjab was very happy. 

Incident 2:
There is another story worth repeating. 
The bridge on river Satluj near Phillaur was a narrow one and for big vehicles it was a one way bridge. A military convoy was cleared to enter the bridge from Ladhowal side. When they were nearly half way through, they found a caravan of official cars coming from the other side ( from Phillaur ). Both sides met and stopped. A police officer came over and told the convoy commander that the CM ( same fellow Kairon) was in a hurry and the convoy had to move back. He was told that it was very difficult for the trucks to reverse all the way. Also, they were cleared first and the cars should not have entered the bridge. The polce wala said in a very cocky manner that either they cleared the way or he would arrest the convoy commander. The convoy commander called out his troops and brought them to 'stand to'. He told the polce wala that if the convoy did not move out forthwith he would shoot the whole bloody lot. Needless to say, they obeyed at full speed. 

I think I was living at Phillaur when the first incident took place. My father was a police officer posted at PTS Phillaur. 

Fauj ke woh acchhe din kahaan gaye ??