Dear Diary - My Sincere Apologies

Dear Diary,

 

I want to apologize to you for tearing one page from you where I compile my thoughts and my feelings.  I want to confess to you that today when I sat at my desk, I was not sure what am I going to write and my fingers just started writing something,  I was not sure why were the words getting scattered with my shattered thoughts.  I tried to control my fingers, but then they went on to write a poem depicting the pain I was in.  I completed the poem and just left it on you on my desk.  Made myself a nice Cold Coffee and started reviewing the poem I had written in my semi-conscious state of mind.  I was shocked that what I had produced from my shattered thoughts.  It was no way that I was going to leave that something, which seemed to me as scattered thoughts, but turned out to be a poem with pain scattered through the blooded soul of me and right on your heart.

Well, I know what I did was something more insane and more shocking for you to bear.  I understand the pain that you went with when I tore of those pages of you to delete those lines I was suppose to leave as imprint on you, if I would not have reviewed it.  Strange so it seems, but it did happen today with me. I guess, it happened because I curbed my feelings that I should otherwise have expressed to the one I loved, rather love.  But, since I was not sure of where and how the relation would head to the destiny, I stopped short of proposing and decided to go on with the life.

I do agree with you, another act of insanity from my side.  But one thing is for sure, She would be in my thoughts and prayers for ever and I would want her happy in her life.  Even if we seize to talk and meet, I wouldn't mind as I have taken a step back from where I was headed.  Who says there is no back gear in life, it is there if you want to stop yourself from heading a particular path.  I did that today. 

Once again Dear Diary, I am extremely sorry for the heinous and barbaric act of tearing your page and Causing you the pain.  I assure you that I would never ever repeat the act in future.  I sincerely apologize once more and hope that you would forgive me.

Your Sad Writer